A Funny Thing Happened

while reading my scriptures that was a good teaching moment. I started to read in Alma, just after the Lamanites had destroyed so many of the people, families, flocks and herds, land and crops. All that devastation, and the people felt afflicted. They understood that their lifestyle, their disobedience had brought about this tragedy and they were humbled. They turned to the Lord and started over full of repentance, more fully obedient. I was about 5 verses in and it was time to turn the page. (insert screech) As I turned the page, I noticed a cup that I should put in the dishwasher that I had just started before I sat down to read. Just a few seconds and I began reading again and by verse 7 I read about how pride was starting to affect the people. What? Wait. Turn back the page and make sure I am still on the right chapter—yep. My nest thought was “Wow! that didn’t take long!”  That made me think of how often, during the day my thoughts do that very same flip flop. It doesn’t take very much or very long to find myself down the wrong path, if I am not careful about stopping any negative thoughts that enter my mind. One thing having Hunter and Ellie here has shown me that I have to be careful and work to make sure I am not being prideful. It is far too easy for me to get caught up in all the things that their parents need to take care of. I have to watch myself and make sure that I am making decisions based on love and not on pride. It is a battle everyday to try and stay on the path! But it is worth the fight. And I know I can eventually win. I love the example of Alma in this chapter, giving up his judgment seat to go and teach the doctrines of Christ to try and recover the people that he loves. It is so clear that studying the gospel everyday is how you fight the temptations of everyday. And when you lose a battle, the atonement puts you back on track so that the whole war is not lost.

Temple Matron of the Home

Sister Monson passed away this morning.  She gets to go home, and while I am sure President Monson will be relying on his testimony of the plan of salvation to comfort all of us in his time of sorrow, I can’t help but hurt for him. My heart goes out to President Monson because he will miss his helpmeet. Her support will be a great loss for him. There are two statements that I love from the article about her in the Church News. I would love for these things to be said about me! I am going to work on making those come true.

• Sister Monson lived a Christ-centered life in word and deed. She will forever be remembered for her kindness and quiet, sustained support of her husband in his Church duties.
• Never purposely in the spotlight, Frances Beverly Johnson Monson was always gracious, kind and supportive in everything she said and did. Her quiet influence felt around the world (in her family) will be missed.

I can’t think of two better things to describe the kind of person I want to become. Recently I read these statements on a blog: " ‘We have the opportunity to create homes that are sacred, safe, and sanctified like the temple.  Can you think of anything more divine than that?  A mother is the temple matron in her own home, doing all she can to make it a place filled with the spirit of God.  A home is a temple because important eternal work takes place there.  The mother of the home plays a significant role in creating that environment and in directing the work within’ (Covenant Motherhood by Stephanie Sorensen, p. 9) This is exactly why I do what I do in my home.  This is why I work so hard--because what happens here matters and is of eternal significance.  But it was fortifying to hear someone put it into words like she does in her book. Sometimes, the work is hard and messy and laborious, but I know WHY I am doing it...to create an atmosphere where my family and I can feel the spirit and learn the teachings of Jesus Christ.  And it is to that end that I do what I do.  Not because I just like crafts or because I love to cook (I don't!)  Those are mainly means to an end...and that end is bringing my children to the Savior. I am convinced now, more than ever, that there are no small jobs in the Kingdom of God.  The things that we do as Mothers, day in and day out, are spiritually significant, for us and for our children and families.” Sister Monson understood her divine role and how important her role was in the lives of those around her, especially her children and her husband. To me, she truly was the temple matron of her home. Her example touches me deeply and strengthens my desire to do what is right. I am relying on my own testimony of these important principles to work hard with the children in my home, within my influence, that aren’t my children. Somehow, the Lord will take my efforts and multiply them and make them matter.

Spring Concert

Ellie had her spring concert for violin. They have improved tremendously since we went in December. Ellie didn’t like it much, but I put practice on her chart so she practiced a lot more to get her weekly reward. Her mom brought her flowers, cute dainty pick roses. Kassie and her boys came to watch as well. It was so nice of them to travel across town. I know Ellie enjoyed seeing them all come.

Mother’s Day

Mother’s day was great this year. I was able to spend it with my girls and my mom. We decided to spend Saturday night at Maryn’s new apartment when we heard that GG and Gpa were coming down. That would allow us to be with them most of the day Sunday without the travel time to come up. We wanted to check out Maryn’s new place, so it worked out perfect. GG and Gpa took the opportunity to hop in Marble’s van, since they were coming for a wedding. As soon as Hunter and Ellie were done with their visit and then we drove to Phoenix. We spent some time visiting for a few hours Saturday night. Jeanene and Grace had come for the day while the men and boys were at their father and son’s campout. We went to dinner at a Country Grill—it was great food, but pretty expensive!

Sunday morning the girls surprised me with breakfast.         Yummy french toast and a special table setting. It was so nice to be pampered! Kelly and I sat at the table while everyone else found a spot on some makeshift tables. I opened some gifts and sweet notes. Ellie entertained us with her creation of her box persona. Then we were off to church and to meet at the Green’s again.

We visited, played with chickens, took naps, and just enjoyed the day together till it was time to head for home. I couldn’t help but snap some pictures of the sleepiness that enveloped the living room!

Kelsey and I snapped some fun photos together.

On our way home we stopped by the site of the Gilbert temple that is in construction. It looks like it is getting pretty close to being done. It was larger than I thought it would be. I can’t wait till we are able to watch our own temple being built. 

  

Countdown Begins

And so it begins….my diet for the next 24 hours. Ugh!

When Thou Art Converted

I am trying to finish up the conference talks from Oct 2012 so that I can start studying conference from the last conference in April. I just finished reading Elder Bednar’s talk on conversion. I don’t know if it is because of the newer memories that are fresh on my mind from the most recent conference or if I just missed the point of his message, but what an impression it made on me this morning. I have an idea that Elder Holland’s words (that replay in my head) have had some impact on how this message touched me because they are in perfect harmony with each other. I also thought of the scripture that we hear so much found in Luke: when thou art converted strengthen thy brethren. Now that I have read what Elder Bednar teaches about testimony and conversion, I sense a deeper meaning to that scripture. I have always read it with the word converted, but my understanding was such that I was really using testimony as what you needed to strengthen your brethren. I don’t think that is entirely wrong, but the strength we receive through conversion is a much better place to try to strengthen others from. I think that is what happens to missionaries out in the field. They leave with testimonies, but they become converted to the Lord through their obedience and diligence. As Elder Bednar points out we can’t give spiritual strength away, but if we are converted to a principle we have been living it. There is a difference in knowing something is true and living that truth. Just as I think there is a difference between teaching knowledge and sharing your life experience. He says testimony is the departure point, not the ultimate destination. I think that then we use the starting point of a testimony to experiment upon the word till we are converted in each principle, the destination being converted to each principle, line upon line. It takes time, effort and diligence—no short cuts. We know the gospel is true and are true to the gospel…everyday, making choices to be obedient, or faithful, or hopeful or all of the above and more. Consistently living with integrity, which is making my actions consistent with my knowledge. Harder than it sounds, but totally worth the promises we receive when we do.

Size of Faith

"The size of your faith or the degree of your knowledge is not the issue—it is the integrity you demonstrate toward the faith you do have and the truth you already know."--Jeffrey R Holland
That is my “take-away” saying from conference in April. There were so many great talks, with many things that strengthened me and that I learned. But that statement about living what you know really sank deep into my heart. I think because I feel like I am being tested that way—that the circumstances I am in are such that I am proving if I will live what I believe. I hope I am  getting a passing grade!
I haven’t been talking much about what is going on, or my feelings and I am not totally clear as to why. I don’t feel like I have very much time and there is so much going on. Having the kids is a lot. It is HARD. I knew it would be hard, but I didn’t know it would be this hard. Health issues, which is a new concern for me. I have always been fairly healthy, so grateful that I haven’t had to worry much. Kelly continues to travel, monthly. And of course, my own girls need my attention too. It just feels like there is so much right now-important things, that my attention, work and prayers. And so much that is just unknown-am I doing enough, and doing it right? is it going to all work out?
Because of all those questions and fears, desires and hopes I rely on what I believe and what I know and try to live those principles with integrity. I am not perfect, but I am trying to give my best effort.

• I believe that my Heavenly Father is aware of me, of all of us. I believe that His way will—eventually--lead to the best outcome, that we will have joy. So I pray for direction and for the help and strength I need to do what needs to be done. I am working on trusting His timeline.
• I believe in the Atonement. I rely on the enabling power of the atonement every day to make it through each day. So I try to remember Christ at all times. I try to remember to do what He would do. I know that I am strengthened by Christ everyday. There is no way I would be able to go on without His help.
• I know the scriptures are true and that they are blessing. So I study them and seek counsel and strength from them. I look for answers in them, by looking for the evidences of God’s love and his “dealings” with His people.
• I believe faith is action, so I try not to spend very much time feeling sorry for myself and instead get to work. I try to choose to be hopeful. That is hard when things feel impossible, but prayer and examples from the scriptures help me when I am weak.
• I believe in the Holy Ghost and I try to listen to his promptings and follow through with the direction I receive. I am still learning how to recognize his voice.
• I believe in the sanctity of the family, so my decisions are based on that belief. I try to be a good example of what a family should be like. I have to work to keep from taking things personal and making decisions when my feelings are hurt.

I am sure there are more things that I should think of—but these are what keep me going. There are good days. There are days where I know I just can’t do it and the desire to quit is overpowering, nothing like I have ever felt before. Yet, I do. I know it is through the blessings of my Heavenly Father made possible because of the atonement.

Baby Sitting

  Today Kelsey and I got to take care of a brand new baby girl, Baby T. She is only five pounds! So tiny and so beautiful. She is a blessing to the Larsens, who first had Hunter and Ellie. They want to foster adopt, and she may become part of their family. When I first saw her on Sunday, I was so excited to hear the news and secretly my heart was so touched. I rejoiced quietly at how wondrous God and His works are. What I am doing right now is helping to make that possible and knowing that helps me somehow find some purpose that sometimes is hard to find in this situation every day. When Melanie called I was so excited that I could help her out…I am certified afterall!

Here is she beside my tv remote to show how small she is

April Collage

Here is our important events of the month in a collage--

Maryn’s birthday, she shared her day with Grace and had a piñata, Ellie and Hunter were in their sisters wedding, I have been working on a photo class, and it was conference, and we said good-bye to Sister Barrett.